Everybody gets through this in their own way. Some spouses get really ugly and lash out (e.g. FLTC's wife), others just shut down like Romeo's. I don't agree that they've necessarily let go, but they've shut down the feeling part...at least around you! Just like us, one day they'll have to deal with the pain and right now may not be the time. If they don't, then it will come out in other ways later on. This is such hard sh!t to go through, you've got to keep your head on straight for the legal and family stuff yet you're supposed to feel and go through the grief process. It's tough. Also, don't just suppose that because she's the ice lady around you that she isn't bawling her eyes out when she drives around the corner from you. You don't know. We often think when they're so detached that we meant nothing to them. Don't do that to yourself, just think "this is her way of getting through this", nothing more and nothing less.
