I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

The last part of the article by Penny above on separating has really rung true for me now. I've not been emotionally ready to go dark yet, but tons of people in my life and on this board have been saying it for some time now. I think I'm ready to be completely unavailable to him. It seems like it's the ONLY way to get him to see how much he REALLY loses because he has been saying to friends that he really wants to remain my very close friend. Well, he can't. He can't have me for the "wife" in his life and her for the "lover." A friend of mine told me that the exact thing happened to her mom in divorce, that her ex would constantly come over and do things around the house for her, and that every time he came she told herself that he was going to come back or say "I've left the OW" but it never happened and she just became more and more emotionally destroyed in the process. So I think I finally feel ready to go dark because this isn't going to happen to me.

Any tips for handling any urges to contact him? When I feel that urge to contact him, and it's going to happen, or even to reply to him if he contacts me, what's a good way to get rid of that urge? (and don't say read a book because that will never work ;-)