Well the one section I quoted may not apply to your H. But the one above does say "OR never acquired social skills etc." NOT "AND never acquired social skills etc."
You know, I don't think my sitch sounds like the threads I have been following in MLC. I am sending you something through FB!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hard day today with baby. Lots of feeding and crying, and I'm under the weather. Really drove home how hard it is to be doing this on my own - without the father. I am extremely angry that he has just walked out!
Off to the countryside tomorrow for a couple of days. Hope I chill out!!
Sorry you're having such a bad day, Piano. I remember them well.
The only thing worse than being sick is being sick and having to take care of a sick child. Having to give comfort when you just want to pull a blanket over your head, sleep, and be left alone.
And yes - call your WH every nasty name you can think of for leaving you alone to deal with all of this. He deserves it!
This thought comforts me: I have a friend who is married to a lawyer and they have two kids. Her husband works 80 hours a week. Even though he is home on the weekends, 85% of the time she is like a single mom. She juggles both of the kids on her own. And when he comes home, he's so tired he doesn't do much. He takes care of the kids more on the weekends. But it always makes me feel better to know that even if I was with WH, there would definitely be times when I would be doing everything on my won.
Hi, good couple of days in the mountains. Should do that more often!
Bub really going nuts with the smiles and grins. It's really good fun
No much news at this end, other than to say I still freak-out about my stich quite often (lots of crying, still can't believe it) but generally have been feeling much calmer with WH overseas.
He is back today, however! Worried what news he will bring. Did he get a job? Are things set in concrete with OW? How long is he here for? etc. I don't spend time thiking about these questions because I want to put my head in the sand. Hope I have the strength to deal with whatever painful news comes next....
Also, took some photos of bub on holiday in the mountains. Wanted so much to share these with WH as this was our 'stomping ground'... One thing that really marks my sitch is the complete loss of shared experience of this baby with WH. He doesn't even know she smiles, doesn't know how mnay times a day she poops, how her health is. Gals, am I supposed to be trying to share this stuff with him? Should I be sending an email with updates and photos? If I don't, one day, will it be too late? I mean, these moments happen only once and she is growing so fast!
Another great email from wayward FIL, outlining what happened 40yrs ago between him and MIL, and why he left. He said he has emailed WH twice and heard nothing back from him yet. Says he is trying to tentatively open the subject with him. He also says again he finds WH very selfish and hopes that when his testosterone rush ends, that he wakes up and comes back to me. I don't think he realises just how far gone WH is... Also says that he would never have left a pregnant wide that loves him.
I can only say what i do. wah has been around s4.5months a handful of times. mt son does not know him and the rare times he was around son he pawned him off on me or his mother.
i used to send updates about both kids but he doesnt respond or say thanks or anything. the way he deals with things are to ignore his feelings wife kids and responsibilities.
that is your call whether to let him know about her milestones. if your not sending the info out of spite which i can totally understand but for some other reason, you be the bigger person even though me personally my kids jacka## of a father really could care less about them. i really dont know how i am supposed to believe anything else.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Piano, isn't it soooo rewarding and amazing and worth a million bucks to see those first smiles???!?!? And glad to hear you enjoyed your trip!
About sharing your bub's milestones with WH...I think you should because it will help him to bond with his baby girl. And it is too soon to know his future of involvemetn with her, so might as well give him the best foundation if that makes sense.
Maybe aim for pictures every month. Can you send him pictures through your cell phone, too? (haha-bet OW will have a hard time with that one!!!)
Maybe tell him things like "she smiled for the first time today!" "She reached for a toy today." etc. as they come up.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Welcome back! You're very courageous to take an infant to the mountains - hats off to you!
I'm with NewMama: send him some pictures and see how he responds. It will give him a chance to bond and hopefully make him realize what he's missing. Babies are SO cute when they're little, and they make SO much progress SO quickly. You'll look back in no time and think, "Was she ever really that small?"
As for FIL - I find that very interesting! He's feeling the guilt 40 years later, realizing what a mess he made of things. Hopefully he can have some impact on your WH, though it's hard to tell infidels anything when they're in the thick of things...
Looking forward to hearing where things stand with WH!
