The other danger for you right now is that you begin to gloss over your shortcomings and continue being the Bradley of old.
Whatever you were before was not enough. The fact that your wife is now wrongly treating you and your children does NOT mitigate your past behavior.
I hope you can find a way to continue being honest WITH yourslf ABOUT yourself and make this experience be the opportunity to make some mid-life corrections.
Thank you Bill. its nice to hear from you again. And thank you for supporting me.
it is amazing to me how people I have never met really know my situation and know me better than most of the people who are in my life.
Let me tell you that there is NO WAY that I am going back to the old me. all of my priorities in life have changed. my whole approach to people and my relationships is different. I am acutely aware of how other people are with their spouses... and I notice how NICE to each other so many of them are. I notice how they are aware of each other. my wife and I never graduated from the college way of life...we never matured as a couple. there were barriers there that we never got over. and I own my part of that... which was a big part.
but the main, thing is that I have been opening my eyes to how I am with other people, and realize how socially retarded I have been... literally. I am still just trying to figure out how to be comfortable with other people in a non-judging way... just kindof being with them. this is something I am just learning... now that I am aware of this deficiency I realize how far I have to go.
so there is no going back. the main thing is this: the old bradley was a loner. I liked doing stuff on my own. as you can imagine this year has given me all the alone time one man can stand for a lifetime. I'm now all about being with other people. I crave it. and I enjoy it.
today I played some music with some folks in town... I sang and played my les paul. I sang "Simple Man" by Skynrd. good song. good message....
