So this evening was interesting in an odd way. It may have got away from me.
So after D's bath, she starts asking useless questions about collared shirts and going through the closet for golf shirts. She has a new dress code. So she's in my bathroom changing shirts and asking me "Does this fit", etc. I say "Fine. It's work".
Then she tells me she is taking next week off to go to BC cause her mom is going out so she's gonna meet them. (her aunt lives out there). But from an earlier conversation I overheard a few weeks back, she wasn't staying with her aunt and mom (she had "friends" who had a condo) Whatever, I guess. I can't follow to check up.
Then, she says "You have Calla on the 31st. Can I take Calla to Brooklyns birthday?" M- Sorry, D and I will be in BC on vacation. The 24th to 31st? W-Oh. Can you do that? m-Why not? W cause of our agreement? M-What agreement? We have no Sep Agreemnt. W What about the thing you wrote? M Not signed. You read it and gave it back saying you wouldn't sign. W It needed some changes. Like RRsp. And what to do with the truck. M So what do you want to do with the truck? W I don't know. pay it off? M No. Family funds will not buy a personal truck for you. W But I told you about the changes your thing needed M OK. Write them out and give them to me to review
Any way, this went back and forth and she kept at it.
I eventually sent her the document I wrote. I told her she needs to open a personal bank account and I will calculate what she needs to pay every payday to the joint account to cover the household bills.
It got a little touchy as I was having difficulty controlling my irritation. She, of course, was making effort to say how "It's not necessary that we fight over everything. People can get divorced and be civil" I said, "OK. But these things will come up forever.
Honestly, I'm a little hurt that we're still going down this road and she is pursuing it. I sort of hoped if it was up to her it would never happen. Plus, her sudden push for paper suggests there is likely a relationship she wants to pursue and "paper' will make her less guilty. However, in being optimistic, I suppose she won't start "getting it" until it starts to become real.
And I'm getting tired of this, too.
But I guess I need to call my lawyer friend and sort out what I need to do to get that Property Exception and if I can leave it out of our temporary agreement and drop that bomb later.
I need a refresher on the scripts I need to say and repeat when this topic comes up.
e.g. "If this is what you want..." If this is your decision..." If this is your only option?"
I'm sitting here watching my hopes die. And it sucks. I'm not sure if I can keep my irritation out of the conversations. Everytime I looked at her today all I could see was the girl I wanted to marry. And she's not "there" anymore.
Sorry to be a downer. I had such a good weekend about marriage and THIS is what I come home to.
Too big a swing for me.
I'm not thinking this will be a success story. And the fact that my non-pursuing behaviour surely shows 'more of the same" to her, I don't see what changes she could be seeing in order to reconsider.
Sorry, everyone. I'm feeling really lost and disheartened.
