Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[antlers]

My son told me this morning, "I'm really enjoying spending my summer with you."

Gardener, you think I should lay off the texting to my girls? It's 'pursuing' to my girls?
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Yesterday, I asked her, via text, "do you ever wish we'd moved to Boerne or San Antonio instead of coming up here?" (to Oklahoma)

Her response..."you ask me that...how many times did I try and talk you into going there after I started school and your parents renigged on helping us out? Regardless where we lived we would have ended up where we are now because I would have put up with your abuse towards me and the kids for only so long."

I replied simply, "when we know better, we do better. People can change."

She followed up with, "they may change but the damage they caused has already been done and cannot be erased. That damage goes deeper to the victims and it is with them for the rest of their lives. And you haven't changed a bit. Look at the major damage you've caused between son and me. Ever since he's been staying over there you've told him lies about me. That's the kind of damage that doesn't go away. 'My mom's done bad stuff to my dad that you don't know about' is what son told my mom. That's bs and you know it as well as I do. How can you sit there and tell me 'people can change' when you're still doing what you've done for years?"

I replied simply, "if I'd have known better, I'd have done better. I wish I'd have made these changes years ago. We would've been fine. I wish we'd have gone to the hill country instead of coming up here."
"I see how I hurt you and for that I am sorry. People make mistakes. Some people learn from them, they change, and become better people. The past, despite it's wrenching pain, cannot be unlived. That doesn't mean it can't be overcome. It can."

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Anyway, my son and I watched another movie last night, Grown Ups, and took a pretty good motorcycle ride today. We're gonna go watch fireworks tonight.


I miss her being the way she used to be, loving and caring towards me. That, coupled with the changes that I've made over the last 19 months...and we coulda been in tall cotton. I hate it that things are this way.

I've got no choice but to continue to let go and move on.