You got my attention with that other thread. I'm not sure that I can help you, but I think it is good that he seems to be missing you and having second thoughts while in Iraq. I would say that you should stay in a holding pattern during his deployment. You could make him jealous by saying that you are wondering if you should date while he is gone since he wants a divorce anyway. I mean, if you want to go that route.
The other thing you could do is to try to get him to go to a Retrouvaille weekend with you when he comes back. Here is the website,www.helpourmarriage.org. The weekends are great for helping couples learn to communicate better. With better communication, you have a better marriage. It's amazing how well it works. But, of course, you can't do anything more than try to get a commitment from him to go at this point.
It sounds like there was another woman. She may not have been able to sit out the dating scene and wait for him. So if she dumped him, then he most likely would start talking nicer to you.
