It's not right for a spouse to take the children from a marriage and move hundreds of miles away.


THAT spouse, regardless of any legitimate issues he/she might have with the other spouse, betrays their true motivations by this action - showing that THEIR needs and desires outweight the needs of the children.


There can be no more damning revelation about a person's true character.


Mrs. Bradley was not physically or verbally abused. We can surmise that she was unhappy in the relationship and felt as though she and the family were not Mr. Bradley's priority - but this is a far cry from a spouse who NEEDS to take the chldren and flee so far away.



...and using the children as a tool to ensure a steady financial flow? Well that's just obscene.



You know well that my feeling on your situation from the beginning was that you needed to SHOW that your family was more of a priority to you than your career.



I'm not sure if you've fully done that or not. But, according to your accounts at least, you made a legitimate offer to move to her location and take a job outside of your specialty to reunite your family. And you say that you were summarily rebuffed.


For now I think that is indication enough that this woman is NOT just disenchanted and wants to see your commitment.


If I were in your position, I would be taking every possible step to try to gain AT LEAST 50% custody of your children. And I'm talking the serious legal process route.


But some food for thought...


You are a cardiac surgeon and presumably will continue to have a very demanding schedule. If you were awarded 50% custody of your boys, would you be able to care for them for that much of the time? Or would you have to rely of some kind of nanny or other child care?


I expect that will be an issue in any legal process regarding custody.


Your wife is not entitled to have her entire life financed by a husband she no longer wished to be married to. Alimony (other than perhaps for stars and celebrities) would and should not be sufficient to live on. It sounds to me like she expects to be supported by you. This needs to stop as well.


The other danger for you right now is that you begin to gloss over your shortcomings and continue being the Bradley of old.


Whatever you were before was not enough. The fact that your wife is now wrongly treating you and your children does NOT mitigate your past behavior.


I hope you can find a way to continue being honest WITH yourslf ABOUT yourself and make this experience be the opportunity to make some mid-life corrections.



Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."