I am sitting here trying to figure out why it feels like I am the crazy one to not think that this would be the natural ending to my M.??? H acts as if with "all" of our problems of course this would be the only end...but I'm sitting here thinking - "wait - slow down / I only LEARNED about the extent of these issues a few months ago - we were working through them....you said you wanted nothing more in this life but to work through them...what's going on here?" Now he tells the kids that he has no confidence in MY ability to change nor in HIS ability to change.. To change WHAT??? I don't even know what the main thing is!!! I don't know if I am crazy or insane or what - how do I not know??? Am I the only one who is shocked by all of this - or did everyone see it coming but me? If so, where have I been - asleep, in denial, what?????
I am overwhelmed by the loss, the grief, the hurt - I need relief!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
