Is your name still apt, by the way? Are you still confused? I guess THEY are confused and confusing, no? LOL.
I understand how you could be brought to your knees by what happened. That's the thing about these sitches. Something pops up at sometime to knock you off kilter.
Two things I will leave with you which I hope strengthen you:
1. "And Moses said to the people, Fear ye not,stand still and see the salvation of the Lord , which he will show you today: for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, ye shalL see them again no more for ever." EXODUS 14:13
You have lived to see the dreaded day where he introduced OW to his family and friends. And you have lived to tell it. And that day no longer has to be feared because you have lived it and conquered that demon. You don't have to see that "Egytian" again.
2. "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's." CHRONICLES 20:15
I find those two verses very comforting and hope they help you too.
