my work does not define me. Like I said before if I could change things from the past I would do many things differently. what I want more than anything right now is to live in the same town as my boys. right now I am the only person in this family with a job. and it is a very good job that will allow me (I assume I will be responsible for it) to get out of the hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt that "we" accrued over the years of training because my wife wanted to live a certain way-- not extravagantly, but irresponsibly. I never said no.
I do not think there is anything that justifies her actions. I understand how she could feel all the ways that you described. Completely. But it doesn't make it ok. I feel that the boys should be here. the only reason for them to be there is it is because she wants to be there-- not because she wants what is best for them.
they have a father who loves them, wants to be with them, and now has the time and the means to do so.
and I do agree it is important for them to know that we love them... but I also think it is important for me to be in their lives regularly, not be shuffling them back and forth state to state, and to give them some stability somewhere other than in an enviroment where all-- and I mean all-- of their friends parents are splitting up, cheating, and putting themselves first.
does she love them? I'm sure she does. but right now I do not think what she is doing is what a mother who truly loves her kids would do-- keep them from their dad and use them as pawns to get what she wants- money and keep me at a distance.
even today she sent me a message saying that I could see the kids this summer-- but that she has many bills that need to be paid.
I told her time and time again that I will pay for her to live here and support her... I just want the boys in the same town as me.
cori sounds like a great guy. I did my best at the time with what I had, what I was faced with, and my level of emotional maturity during my training to get home as fast as I could every day to be with my wife and kids. but it wasn't enough. I regret not doing better.
If I could do it all over again I'm sure I would have done many things differently.
what I am faced with now, however, is a battle. I have proposed a number of agreements with her-- and she has shot them all down. she made a choice to be a cake eater. I allowed it for a year and now I'm dealing with a very difficult situation where she has essentially established residence for those kids. I never would have imagined in a million years that she would choose to keep them away from me like this, but then again I didn't know what she was capable of. I loved her, wanted her back and wanted the family back... but she had other things in mind, maniuplated me and the situation to her advantage and now she has a leg up.
I still feel that I will fight to get those kids here as best I can. If I lose then likely I will be looking at working up there. this is a phenomenal opportunity that will, as I said, allow us to get out of the loads of debt we have and establish some stability for a family that has gone off the rails.
having the kids know that I love them is not enough-- not enough for them and not enough for me.
