It has been crazy busy but I think I will enjoy some peace this afternoon! D went with H for her birthday and S got home from scout camp last night and decided he'd rather go dirt bike riding with his brother than go with H!!!!
Camping was crazy with a 2 and a 4yr old and me, not knowing what the heck to do with the camper etc. I was very excited to go as I love to camp but will say it just wasn't the same without H...am thinking of just selling the camper and buying a tent...would be so much easier!
D called H to find out what time he was coming and she said that S was going biking with his oldest son H made a comment "no one ever let's me know what is going on" WTF???
Every time SS or DIL tries to call him he does not answer or call back. I think that H might be starting to feel/see some consequences to the choices he has made. DIL told me too that they were at SS's aunt's house (H's former SIL) and one of his cousins said "heard your Dad was divorced again" and SS said "no, he's just being a dumb a$$!"
Saw L when I work, and she asked me how I was doing and if I was still wanting her to do nothing and I said yes, H wants it, he can be the one to push it...so, she has not heard anything from them at all since April when we counter-filed.
Tomorrow is D's birthday and not sure what we will do during the day but are invited to DIL parent's house to watch fireworks....they live on a hill and can see fireworks from several different town's.
On a side note, went for a check up at the oncologist the other day and all is well. They told me that I am definitely POST-menopausal now and wil switch me off of tamoxifin in Oct (that will be 2yrs) to something newer with fewer side effects! Of course, it will cost a little more!
I just want to say that although I should be happy that I am post men becuase my cancer was estrogen fed and this should help with the chances of it not coming back...I am kinda sad too...it is another chapter in my life where the door has permantly been closed! Bittersweet I guess!
So, whoever asked (SA!!!) how I am doing...there ya go!
Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW, Wonderful news about the check up! I know what you mean about that door closing, but you know what they say about when one door closes...
Your H seems like mine. At first he was all charged up about LS and D. He hasn't made any legal moves toward it except after he first left and talked to the L.
I hope your D has a wonderful bday and you have a great 4th!
CW, I have been catching up on your thread. I definitely understand the house situation and the need for your H to feel he is doing what HE thinks this right. But he will soon begin to have feelings of remorse in missing thouse things that really mattered.
I hope your D has a wonderful B-Day and that you take care of your family on this great 4th. Have a great day!
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Hi DU! I sure hope you are right! Thanks for posting! Hope you are having a good weekend!
Waiting for D12! to come home from her Dad's. Had hoped to go to the zoo today but it is raining...maybe it will be done later so we still can! Invited to DIL's parents house tonight to watch fireworks.
I have a confession to make...
I have been feeling so good, strong, keeping busy and just going on with life without H, working on my faults and standing. I dreamed the night before about H and it was a good dream where we were having fun as a family and this is the first time since he left that I have had a dream like that.
S14 came home fro dirt bike riding with his brother and tells me that H, OW and D12 stopped by where they were riding and H introduced OW to SS. They were riding at H's former SIL's acreage.
This, basically, brought me, mentally, to my knees. I guess I have taken security in the fact that H hadn't introduced her around to anyone and now she has met SS and some of SS's Mom's family. I haven't felt that pain for quite awhile and am mad at myself for letting that get to me.
I guess my first thought was, well, that's it, he is introducing her to people so the shame is gone and he has truly moved on and I should give up now....and then I was really PO'd at EVERYONE!!! Everyone, including my kids seem to think that what he is doing is OK...they are meeting HER and accepting HER and I am just a discarded POS and eventually, his family will accept her and I will no longer be a part of it!
THEN, I read something that a former poster on here wrote on another forum to someone else and I wish I could post it here cause I think it would help others...it really resonated with me.
"Through patience, steadfastness, endurance, standing firm upon the faith that you've developed within this trial, you may cross the deepest rivers, go through the hottest fire, fight the hardest battles, but through it all hope is always there.
That same hope we hold in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
Hope is not the same as expectations...hope is something that will last forever; hope is something you can depend upon.
There is always hope as long as you stand for yourself and love your husband."
I hope this is ok if I posted just a little of what was written. There is much more but these words brought me back up to a standing position. I am a little wobbly yet but regaining strength and renewed determination!
I wasn't sure if I was going to share how easily I was knocked down but it did help to write it out!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Through patience, steadfastness, endurance, standing firm upon the faith that you've developed within this trial, you may cross the deepest rivers, go through the hottest fire, fight the hardest battles, but through it all hope is always there.
That same hope we hold in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
Hope is not the same as expectations...hope is something that will last forever; hope is something you can depend upon.
There is always hope as long as you stand for yourself and love your husband."
This is AWESOME thanks for sharing it.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
I have felt the exactly the same way when I found out that H was introducing ow to friends and family. It crushed me for a bit. Figured that's it, no hope left. H has truly moved on.
One lesson I learned from it is to not imagine that everyone is accepting her with open arms. People are curious and wonder what the op is like. When they find out that she's just another human being and not some mythical goddess, you will eventually learn what they really think about the sitch.
Don't worry CW those that love you will remain loyal and supportive. Don't let the monsters play too long in your head!
Hi, CW, I am so sorry you experienced that pain. I would be just as crushed, even though we are getting a divorce. But like SA said,
Quote:
One lesson I learned from it is to not imagine that everyone is accepting her with open arms. People are curious and wonder what the op is like. When they find out that she's just another human being and not some mythical goddess, you will eventually learn what they really think about the sitch.
Don't worry CW those that love you will remain loyal and supportive. Don't let the monsters play too long in your head!
It makes sense, doesn't it? However the idea that people will just accept her and not say what they think of the sitch is highly frustrating.
(((CW)))
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hi SA and thanks! I have read that even the strongest person can be knocked down by the OM/OW being introduced to family and friends...so I guess I will hang on to that thought! I am just so mad at myself for letting that hit me so hard!
NM-I know what you are saying...we just have to let God handle all of that in His time!
DIL told me today that H did not introduce OW to SS. H did bring her there but at that time there was only SS and S14 and that OW did get out of the car but was not close enough for any introductions.
SS said that he does recognize OW from work (he used to work there too) and is shocked that his Dad would even be attracted to her. That helps a little
H brought D11, now D12 home with her new bicycle that he got her. D12 said she, OW and H went for a little bike ride...she was glad that OW brought her Ipod so she could talk with just Dad. She opened her gift from me (it was an ipod touch that I got for an awesome deal from a co-worker...her D won it at post prom and already has one so sold it to me for a huge discount off retail price and I could make payments to her!) and D12 gave me a huge hug and started crying...happy tears!
Anyway, just got back from getting a few fireworks and will head to DIL's parents here soon!
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