What your h is doing is typical mlc behavior. He's still monitoring the bills from afar and doesn't have an issue w/reminding you when things are overdue. It's a control issue w/him. Just as the tax papers are a thread to his former life.
I would do everything possible to protect your assets. Make sure that your name isn't on any of the credit cards and set up your own accounts. Most people who post here, at first, think that their spouses will not screw them over, but they do begin to spend and withhold funds as they move deeper into th crisis.
As for the children, your h knows that they love him....try not to guilt him into spending time w/them. The less you raise this issue, but the better off things will be. He needs to feel safe in your presence and in your home. If you attempt to point out the things he's not doing, he'll stay away and only texted or call you.
The best thing you can do right now is keep the focus on you and your children. Give your spouse to greatest gifts of all..time and space. You want to give them all of that you can so that they can work on themselves and also begin to miss you and the children.
Learn to live your life as if he were never coming back. Keep your expectations at zero at all times.
I do hope that you have plans for today. If not, think about making some and get out to watch the fireworks this evening. It's time for you to have a little bit of fun and live your life to the fullest.
