How do I save my marriage to husband in MLC?

[RLay1100]

I am three months into this. I feel like everything is at a standstill. Is this normal at this point? Should I be doing anything more or less as far as DBing goes?

I don't initiate any contact with H- he texts me first, but that happens only maybe once every couple of weeks. I have noticed that if quite a bit of time goes by without me contacting him, he'll text me out of nowhere... "Just wanted to remind u your cell phone bill is over due." (This text puzzled me because I had paid the overdue amount a couple of days before, AND how did he know anything about my cell phone bill?)

Another one that was out of the blue and didn't make sense read, "I got your tax papers is [my sister] or [her boyfriend] at home? I'm [close-by]." Why was he carrying around my tax papers (of all things) when I had just mentioned to him I need more of their clothes and toys dropped off? Why didn't he have THAT to bring by? lol

He texted me the day after Father's Day with: "Thanks for having the boys wish me a happy fathers day really apprec. that. I'll be there to get them friday evening." lol (He was apparently upset/hurt that he DIDN'T get a call from our boys on Father's Day, but I worked a 12-hr. shift that day and assumed the boys would call if they wanted to. It's not MY responsibility to MAKE them wish their dad a good day, right?)

Two weeks ago, we did talk on the phone with each other, but that ended badly. I called him to ask if he could give me some money to help with groceries (since he is STILL not voluntarily offering to pay me any kind of child support). He said he really couldn't, he was struggling financially, too. I then brought up how I REALLY needed him to make our kids a priority (instead of spending his money first on purchasing a boat, admission to the local race track a couple of times a week, beer...). H agreed, but then quickly got defensive and said he was a darn good dad doing the best he can. I never said he wasn't, and agreed with him. He then tried to say he was the BETTER parent and the boys would rather live with him. I told him that that wasn't neccesarily true, that if he'd actually take time for his boys and talk with them he'd find out how they REALLY feel. "What is that suppose to mean? What do they say?" I told him I would not reveal what they told me in confidence. When I told him that they were in counseling (something I kept from him because he wouldn't have allowed it), H became furious. H began to threaten me, the counselor, the school staff, etc. if the counseling continued. I tried to calm him and tell him about how much they liked their counselor and how much better they are handling everything, but he was speaking irrationally. He yelled that if the boys were so miserable when they are with him (that was NEVER said), then they could just stay away from him. That totally shocked me coming from him and I felt like my heart had just been ripped out. I yelled back then and told him, "Don't you do that! Don't you take out your anger and guilt on our boys! They LOVE you even when you're unloveable, and they would be devastated to hear you say such a thing!" He said he didn't have any guilt, that I was the guilty party. "You can thank that b*st**d [male friend he thinks I've been having an affair with] for breaking apart your marriage! When I realized you were cheating on me I was done with you." Then he hung up on me. ::sigh::
The next day he came to pick the boys up for the weekend and acted completely different, as if the conversation the day before had not even happened. He smiled at me, stood and talked with me, and let me know he thought I was doing a good job with the boys more than once. He seemed sincere, but he also sounded (and looked) defeated.