Completely Blindsided

[blind]

You know what?

FINALLY feeling a bit better today.

I went out this afternoon and bought myself some new clothes...some MORE new clothes. Turns out I hate wearing even my UK T-shirts!

There was a sale on and I bought a whole bunch of very "un-blind" shirts. Bright colours, tight fitting... even ended up with a M when I usually wear XL - being a typical bloke I bought them without trying them on.. got home and WOW, the M fits fantastically! Tight around the shoulders and pecks, with plenty of room around the stomach! I'm already a new man!

So, I spent the day today getting my head in order and trying to visualise this new "life" of mine. I have some goals and I think I'm in a position to realise some, if not all of them!

So, here goes:

Move - 6mths for the job contract to expire, 6mths to get my stuff together and get out of this little city. I was aiming for Sydney, but the size of the houses has just been getting me down.. enter Wollongong - 1hr south of Sydney, easy to drive to, easy drive back to Canberra. On my current salary I could afford a 1 or even 2 bedroom flat walking distance from the beach! Sounds like a good stepping stone to me, I'm getting excited about it! (PLUS it has a very highly regarded Ballroom studio... working on contacts NOW!)

Get Published! - Easier than it sounds... the main thing I need to do is push an artist into getting a story finished and I'm in... but I need to get my butt into gear and try getting my writer's hat back on... not the easiest one, but definitely achievable.

Learn Japanese - I'd love to do a trip over there, and I'd hate to be 'just another tourist'. There was a pamphlet dropped on my desk the other day addressed to an old staff member, and it's for night schools... including a beginner Japanese course! I've got to look tomorrow at the days and see if I can fit it into my schedule... which brings me to the important one that I'm having trouble saying out loud-

SYTYCD - I think I can dance. I think I'm learning enough styles and am versatile at enough styles that with a whole heap of work, I could actually get into (Australian version of) this show! So I'm going to do it! I'm going to get working and if I fail this year I'll double my efforts and I'll get in next year! I'm going to walk out on that stage, pull a quad spin, rip open my shirt and have the crowd screaming at my-

6 Pack Abs - I've already lost a lot of weight... sure, there's more to go, but my hand is healing so I can amp the work up! If I do some ab work each day, reduce the fat intake a bit more, and keep up the dancing, I'm sure I'll start to see those little muscles underneath!

Acting - Something I wanted to do AGES ago was follow through with my acting... I did some modeling when younger and slimmer, but I haven't aged much in the face, and the body is getting back. I didn't push for it because W was worried I'd have to act romantically with other women... not so much a problem now! I've got some friends who are professional photographers and can get me headshots done on the very very cheap, so that's what I'm going to do! Get the shots done, send them to agencies, move to Wollongong and commute to whatever work they can get me in the big smoke!

One life to live, what's the worst that could happen?

She'll divorce me? Hell, she's hardly speaking to me at the moment! Being divorced is hardly a change from that, right?

I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm lonely, I've suffered every damn thing she could throw at me...

But what's that they say about a man who's lose everything??

NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE!