It would but in the decree we stipulated he got the farm equipment and the tools, while I got the house and furniture. Good trade for me! So they are his tools. But still after fair warning I will let my dad or BIL have them.
Possessions. Our separation wasn't very hard. I took what I needed -- although perhaps I should have taken a computer and the vacuum cleaner.
There's still some stuff I need to get and am dragging my feet for whatever reason -- corner cabinet, Seth Thomas clock from 1884, a George Washington statue.
Plus, I still haven't gotten my wedding ring back -- family heirloom. It was my grandmother's.
The ring I really want. The other stuff -- well, I don't know, it seems like seeing it in there makes me feel a little at home.
Perhaps that's what is happening with Dan -- even if he wanted the D.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Well I have no desire to keep the tools, the welding tank, the weed sprayer, etc. I would never use them. The pool table I would definitely use but my house is not big enough for it. It is in several pieces between the garage and the basement storage.
As far as the idea of him wanting to leave things here so it feels like home, I doubt it. Probably sheer lack of motivation to move them. If I don't say anything he will just take his own sweet time and do it when he feels like it.
Even if he did want it here to feel like home, tough crap. He lost the right to make those decisions when he started f#cking other women and taking pictures of himself naked. ick. ick. ick.
So Nathan had a blast today at his historical reenactment/state park trip. The other mom said they'd be back around 7. I told Dan that and he said fine, he would take the kids tonight after Nathan got home (I spent the day with Sydney and my niece Carly again). It is 'my weekend' but I had said last week he could have time with the kids.
So he said he'd have the kids tonight and then take the kids to church with his parents tomorrow at the community patriotic outdoor service at the park. Too bad it is supposed to rain...
Well he texts at six "Approximate time?" I had already told him and he says I never listen. I replied back "The mom said sevenish". Then at 7:30 she called and said it would be eight. So I texted Dan "30 minutes".
At 8:05 he starts texting me, "Bring them over as soon as Nate gets back if they want to come." Yeah because that's ever been in question?? Then right after, "It is getting late they probably should go to bed soon." Because he doesn't let them stay up till 10:30?? Then "Maybe we should just wait and they can stay Monday night" which is his scheduled night.
I don't know if he had an opportunity for a hot date or what. But it was only an hour different and besides he was supposed to have them tomorrow for church and lunch anyway. I replied, "Nope they want to see you and go to church." And Nathan arrived 5 minutes later and I took them and dropped them off.
So different, I did not make any conversation and did not attempt to hang out, I had no desire to. I just wanted to drop them off and leave...it is hard for me to imagine that a few weeks ago I enjoyed having dinner with him and the kids or hanging out together.
I agree on the lack of desire to do family things. Last summer we spent D7's birthday together -- end of July -- and Christmas.
This year? No way. D7's birthday is on a Thursday. I'll celebrate with her the night before on my night.
Christmas? Morning here evening with STBXW. Unless there's someone new in my life by then I'll drop them off and head to the riverfront casino in the Chicago suburbs.
I have to get motivated to get the final things. Especially the ring and the Seth Thomas clock. As STBXW's finances crumble I could see her pawning it off. In fact, I'm suspicious about the ring.
What are you doing for 4th?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Interaction this weekend for a couple reasons even though it's my weekend. A)Nathan had baseball last night and Dan is a coach B)With 4th of July just to be nice I allowed him time with the kids. Not time with me, just time with the kids.
And the picture thing just surfaced yesterday. Still makes me cringe to think about. Ick. Ick. Ick. He doesn't know I know. I am seriously considering giving him back the necklace he bought me for Valentine's day 2003, 3 months after he had cheated on me. It has three diamonds and he said it was for our past, our present, and the future he was going to build with me. His expensive symbol of re-commitment. What a crock. But again sending it back to him would probably provoke him to try and communicate so I am holding off...
My Fourth will be interesting. My mom has had her family over the past 5 or 6 years. Just family makes 50 people! They come at noon and stay until 11 at night, grilling out, playing games, then blowing a lot of stuff up. The problem is we have 90% chance of rain all day...
My Fourth will be interesting. My mom has had her family over the past 5 or 6 years. Just family makes 50 people! They come at noon and stay until 11 at night, grilling out, playing games, then blowing a lot of stuff up. The problem is we have 90% chance of rain all day...
I have a big family too and we rent a community centre in a small town for our get togethers, if it rains then we all go inside. My mom came from a family of 14 kids so there are just too many people to hold it at someones home anymore. We're having our family get together at the end of July, this will be the first time I've attended without wife, it'll feel strange. Well anyway, I hope it doesn't rain and you have a great July 4th! Btw, good thinking on the necklace decision, sell it on Ebay instead, make some money!
curious how you found out about the pictures... are you going to let on you know? I would not give him the necklace back.. If you don't want it pawn it or sell it on eBay ... it's none of his business.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
curious how you found out about the pictures... are you going to let on you know? I would not give him the necklace back.. If you don't want it pawn it or sell it on eBay ... it's none of his business.
Well we have been 'friendy' enough that when one of us has the kids for some special event, we show the other the pictures we take. As I had mentioned, last week after Great Wolf when Dan came to pick up the kids I showed him the pics on the camera. Anyway he mentioned awhile back that he wanted me to see the pictures he took of Sydney's birthday party with his family.
So, Friday was Nathan's last baseball game. I almost brought the camera but I had taken a few pictures of him at the first game, and he's only seven so didn't think it necessary. Well, Dan brought his camera and was taking pics while coaching from center field.
When our team got up to bat, Dan was the pitcher, which helped Nathan get his 4/4 batting performance!
Anyway Dan hands me the camera in the third inning and says, "Would you take some pictures of Nathan when he is up to bat?" Which is rare because he never wants me handling his stuff (camera, car keys, phone, etc).
So as I am waiting for Nathan to get up to bat I was browsing through his pictures. Yes, snooping I suppose. He said I could look at the pics of the birthday and I knew he'd never get around to showing me. So I scrolled back and there were all the pictures from nathan's Flat Stanley school project, where Dan took pics of Flat Stanley at the Alberta office.
Then there were the pics of the birthday party, so I was looking through those. Sydney looked so cute, she went to an inflatable, jump-on-stuff place. Got to sit on a throne and wear a crown and everything. Then it was Easter pics from April of the kids at my house, when Dan came over to hunt eggs with us.
So I was kind of lost in my head looking at the pictures of the kids and then the next picture all of a sudden was Dan naked taking a picture of himself in what appeared to be a bathroom hotel mirror??? I was so shocked I just clicked to the next pic and it was just his package, then an even closer close-up of his package. After those three pics I shut the camera off I was so taken aback and I turned it back on so I got a blank screen as Nathan was now up to bat...
No clue wtf but not actually my business anymore. Still it just gave me the context of all winter him saying how torn he was and not sure what to do and didn't want divorced but it was necessary yada yada yada and all the while this is going on. I kind of doubt he took it with a woman there because why would he have taken the pics himself then, and it was clear he was holding the camera himself. And it was a camera not a cell phone so it isn't like he could have taken the pic and then sent it immediately to someone else.
It really, really grossed me out. Plus there were pictures from his China trip on there too, among other things. Can you imagine he gets out the camera and is showing pictures to the kids or his parents and then, "oops, how did that get in there!?!".....ick
So that just sort of flipped a switch for me on Dan. Seems very gross to me. He told me again just two weeks ago that he was as stressed and miserable as he has ever been, he works so hard day and night between his job and the house. Yeah except when he is taking pictures of his junk. I would never do that but even if someone wanted to do that to send them to someone wouldn't you delete them after you sent them and not carry them around in your camera for months?
As far as moving his sh!t out of your garage, I would definitely refrain from saying this: "How about "Hi Dan, I need you to remove the remainder of your things away from the garage soon, so I can get the car in again. Let me know when you you will do that, thanks Bbj"
WTF is that?? "Soon?" Soon is an open-ended ticket for dan to keep jerking BBJ around.
He needs a very hard and fast deadline to get his sh!t. Period.
I replied back "The mom said sevenish". Then at 7:30 she called and said it would be eight. So I texted Dan "30 minutes". 
I would never do that but even if someone wanted to do that to send them to someone wouldn't you delete them after you sent them and not carry them around in your camera for months?