Mila, I admit that I only intermittently follow your thread . You are getting some very interesting POVs here.
What I advise is that you start making a list of all the changes that you would make and boundaries that you would enforce if you were divorced and accepting the situation...and start doing them NOW. It sounds like you're taking steps in that direction, but I suggest that you make a serious game plan for yourself at this point.
I am so glad to read that you have a plan for getting out of the joint business. Be creative and stop picking up your H's slack in the business. Tell him that you are only willing to work X hours per week and if he is not willing to work X hours per week then you would like to discuss consequence Y (him having to pay the salary of another person, him getting a lower percentage of profits, immediate sale of business, whatever threat you could follow through on). If I am understanding correctly you are doing extra work so that your H can play around with OW? Do you think that your H respects you for that?
I have found that acting "as if" I am ready for the next stage is helping me to get there. It's also helped me maintain my sense of dignity.
(((hugs)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
. You are getting some very interesting POVs here. 
