When I'm able to do that, that will free me...when I have no expectations whatsoever and won't let anything he does hurt me.
Yes that is the next step Mila.
Today I accidentally came across a box of things I'd saved from my courtship and M to XH. One card he gave me early on had this quote from Mother Teresa that beautifully restates what you both said above:
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, only more love".
XH and I spent 4 1/2 hours together kayaking today. One year ago he was having a cookout with his new GF and her children on July 4th. He repeatedly turned down any invitation I made then, but a lot can change in one year. Keep moving forward, Mila.
I don't see how your H and OW can possibly sustain their current pace. When they crash and burn it will teach your H important lessons. My XH was giddy about dating the above-mentioned GF after we signed our D agreement (6 months before our D became final) but his new GF dumped him a few months later and wrote him a 3 page e-mail telling him everything that she perceived was wrong with him. Things are not always as they appear to be.
