when we were in my cardiac training two years ago she became close friends with a group of women who I believe were all WAW's-- one was from a cardiologist. they were re-living their youths, dating younger men, working out, going out, partying, and having a grand time. here I was thinking "how great that she found some friends". duh.
This is probably why you are where you are today, more than the long hours and other stuff. It's the group mentality thing, and it can be VERY destructive. She listened to all these women kvetch about their husbands, and in the spirit of "keeping up with the Joneses" that's so prevalent among some groups, she started acting just like them. You'd think she'd be smart and educated enough to recognize it and pull away, but "group think" can be VERY powerful. She WILL regret it (if she hasn't already). She needs to find some newer, less toxic friends.
That's the problem I'm dealing with here. My WH talked about other affairs in the dept, and I was appalled that the University even allowed it. But when I found out about WH and OW and exposed them to the ethics committee because he refused to give her up, the Provost told my husband flat out that as long as they were both consenting adults, they'd ignore University policy and look the other way. Guess who got labeled the bad guy? ME, for telling! Hard to get support from the hierarchy when there's an open policy of acceptance. It has all the hallmarks of a lawsuit and media scandal, real "Lifetime Movie of the Week" stuff. Argh!
So, trust me when I say I feel your pain and frustration. I really do!
