Sorry I haven't been able to post--but I have been thinking of you.
My second thread was called "next steps" and I found that to be a very helpful way of getting thru all the necessary steps in the separation, etc. At that time I was still pretty much an emotional basket case (which you are not!) and treating the sitch like any other project helped a lot.
Step 1: do such and such. Step 2: etc., etc.
I looked at it like being in a war, or a disaster situation: head up, eyes forward, deal with the immediate life threats, emotions stowed for "later."
Even if MC, or reconciliation becomes a possibility, you will have done all the necessary things to protect yourself and your children.
I've seen your pic on FB--you are a beautiful, fabulous woman and if H can't recognize that, too bad for him.
