I found this in another thread and found it quite helpful to me. I already know a lot about this woman as I know her from back in high school. So that will help me in figuring this out too. But it's really good advice that just hit me when I read it.
*** Page 215-216 in Divorce Remedy
You need to figure out what is so darn appealing about this OP. Do they have a great sex life whereas yours has been paltry? Does s/he flatter your spouse a great deal, building his/her ego? Is s/he spontaneous, willing to do things at the spur of the moment, when you like to have thigns planned months in advance? Is s/he a good listener, always interested in what your spouse needs to say?
You need to find out what need your spouse is fulfilling by spending time with this person so that you can do a better job fulfilling that need yourself. You need to make some changes.
