Think I am dead now.

[cat03]

yikes, your sitch sounds JUST like my ex's and a crazy woman he was having an A with... it is just toxic to the max, he thought he owed it to her, that he could save her... she took advantage of him in every way she could, time and time again tears and watever else she had was used and he fell in every time...

Change your phone number, don't let her pull you in again, she knows how to play you...good thing you didnt' marry her as she sounds totally lost... if she is an addict all she is thinking of is how to get her next fix, and since you are so nice to her she is taking advantage of your love to her... hope you have decided to stop cold turkey and be out of her life, she is taking you down... you are not Jesus, you can't save her, she has to pull herself through, it is not in your hands, it never was, it never will be.

Hope you are getting treated for your depression, I partly understand since x was also depressed and at one point suicidal... a good diet and exercise do wonders, so even if you are not hungry eat, load up on fruits, skip the sodas, refined sugars and late nights watching tv. A great book that will help you is Dr. Amen's 'Healing Anxiety and Depression' you need to clean your mind from toxic and negative automatic thoughts.

KNOW you will make it, be sure of it, even if you don't feel it...wake up every day and decide to live that day to its fullest, claim your life again. You can do it. I will keep you in my prayers... my sitch brought me back to God, praying when I felt weak and putting my problems in God's hands liberated me...I can truly say I have healed and I give God all the credit.

Take care))))