Opinioin on Calling OW -or should I say KID

[marie2235]

Long story short, my husband is cheating with a kids half his age - has been going on 6 plus months. He is 38 - she is barley 20. He has denied it, over and over. I have plenty of proof to the contrary.

What is your opinion on contacting the kid? I have emailed her and texted her - with no response. She needs to understand this is a married man with a family and children she is hurting. Not that she will care - she is young and selfish and gets a kick out of harassing me. I exposed them on FB - names, what they were doing and everything. People that know my husband saw and said something to him - no idea what or waht he told them.

What is your opinion on how to deal with this kid? I really want to contact her and tell her off. My husband willn ot end this - she wont either. Advice?

[kara]

I would not contact her. If she harasses you, report it to the relevant authorities. She KNOWS he is married and in any event , SO DOES HE. The problem is with him. He took the vows with you. Even if she were to leave there will always be another OW if your husband does not address what led him to the affair.

Just my 2 cents.

[MrBond]

Stick to your H. He's the "adult" isn't he? Why hasn't he ended it himself?

[dc329]

In my opinion the best thing is to keep your dignity.She is way too young to understand and no matter what you say she will look at you as the crazy wife. Sometimes it is better to save face as hard as that may be you will feel better in the long run if you remain the one who acts like the adult. I feel for you if it were me I would probably want to kick her...you know what, but ultimately it is your H who is at fault and is disrespecting you and your family.

[marie2235]

Thank you. Im sure everyone knows how hard it is to think staright when you are right in the middle of it. It's hard to take that step back and see things clearly and logically. You are right - it is my H who is disrespecting us. I guess I just thought that she needs to know we are real people and how her aprt in this is tearing apart other people lives.

At this point, there is nothing left for me to do, but tell him to leave. He knows that I love him and would do whatever it takes for us and our marraige, but I also know he checked out a long time ago and could care less. With me, he has turned into a hard, cold, uncaring liar.

According to the 20 year old kid, as quoted in a - of all things - Fathers Day card, which my husband was stupid enough to leave lying around, he is a "kind, loving, caring man and wonderful father."

WHAT? A good man cheats on his wife? Who lies to his children and tells them he can't spend time wtih them because he is too busy at work, only to find out he took the kid to the beach instead? And continued to lie about it, when I had the beach parking ticket in my hnad - not to mention he was covered in sunburn. She has got a few screws loose. I know she is young, but old enough to know right from wrong.

I keep asking myself is he too far gone..how do you know if there really is a chance, or when to give up? Im still young enough to try to go make a new life with somene else, but don't want to give up all the dreams and plans we have had for the past 20 years.

I dont know if he is going to change, to snap out of this - MLC or whatever it is, or I should face reality and create a new life for my kids and myself. I don't want to make a mistake. But I don't want to be miserable for years to come, either.

I did do something, however. Exposing - I went on FB and posted something about what he is doing, and who he is doing it with - figured it might make him asahamed or emabarrased. Although, everynoe he works with and a lot of people know, because he was too stupid to hide it. He didn't see it, but told me people made comments to him about my fB post - I got a dirty look and that was it. Still, I hope it made him stop and think.

Thank you, everyone.