I also have prayed so much! Not getting an answer, but I know that God is listening and helping me get through this somehow, I just don't know how. That is the way I guess it's supposed to be. He brought me here to this forum. So that is a help!
I know I will never understand this one and I have no intention of trying to either at this point, but when H said it, it just dumbfounded me. So I thought I would share so some other person knows they aren't going crazy when they hear the stuff their WAS says.
"I feel guilty when I am with you because I know that she would cut out my heart if she found out. But we are married still and I need sex, you need sex, so the decision to have you come here was mine. I made that choice and I will lve with it." BTW, we did NOT have sex. Period. But I was thinking, he should feel guilty when he is with her, not me. He is so confused that I feel for him. But not enough to go into that with him either. Just let him talk so he could say what he felt. UGH. Like I said, I let myself get hurt last night and I'm havinng a hard time with that today. I KNOW it was wrong and I WILL NOT do that again! HUGE MISTAKE!
And that was the only time he mentioned OW during the conversation or I would have stopped him, I should have stopped him then, but I had to hear what the he** he waas thinking.
I'm still new to this. We have only been seperated 5 weeks at this point and I just found this forum a few days or so ago. So I know that I'm still making mistakes, but I AM learning and listening to all of you. I am building the strength to do everything you tell me and I aAM working on myself rather than him.
