Another friend says that I need to actively work on cultivating rage against stbxh. Sigh. Not sure how I would do that. My eyes are open to his faults and they have been for a long time. But there's a disconnect between my intellectual understanding of his faults and shortcomings and betrayals...and my emotional reaction to those. Any input?
FM I think that others assume we need to experience rage to get to full detachment/acceptance. I have to admit, although my anger has been coming and going since April, it really has helped me to push stbxh farther away.
As for the disconnect between intellectual understanding and your emotional reaction...any chance you are protecting your H by "understanding" how and why he could do this and by not feeling the betrayal? Like not holding him accountable?
Also I remember reading somewhere that some of us deal with tragedy and fear by intellectualizing it...we numb ourselves to the pain by not feeling and just thinking.
I am going to go back and see if you mentioned the title of the coparenting book in your thread.
Take care this weekend FM! I learn so much from you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us.
(am sleep deprived so please excuse the errors in grammar, etc.)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
