When does darkness see the light?

[Irish_love]

Thanks NM!
Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I didn't notice your post. I always look at others but don't check mine for posts anymore since it's not real active. I reach out occaisonally but mostly read others situation for the wisdom others give.

Right now I seem to be in a blah state. Recenlty, I go back and forth from sad to angry, but mostly I am neutral. I have tried to rationalize many things and do my best not send myself spiraling in a negative place. I think positive even if its well I am the one M to H and not anyone else. That may not be a good way to put it. But it reminds me of the movie Fireproof so I go with it. My H doesn't talk about D. (I hope I didn't just jinx it). I brought it up out of anger several months ago and it send him in a big spiral downward. He is in a very depressed state. H is on meds and has gone through intense C. H says he is doing better but still has things he is working on. I don't know what that means exactly, I don't ask questions.

I don't know what is really going on with H on a day to day basis. I am sort of dark. I let him initiate all conversations. But he does come around for kids. I cant go dark completely. But then again, from my initial post I wasn't sure if that was actually helping me or hurting.

Sorry my post is kind of random, I am just scattered at the moment. And I haven't had my coffee yet. LOL

Thanks for checking in with me! I hope you are doing well.