Her D is final they were going through a costody battle now. There is no rebounding for me, it was just nice to hear that after a couple of years she was able to move forward.
Who are you talking to on these boards? You said, "instant connection", and we can smell a script a mile away.
Puppy is right. Do not respond to this text. While you are at it, you are headed for divorce, and if you want things to get really ugly, keep talking to this OW while your wife is around.
There's a good chance she's going to use this to justify exactly what she has done. After all, you even see the parallels.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/02/1001:59 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Ok now I'm really confused. A woman I know at work is going through a D. We obviously have an instant connection since we are going through the same mess. This woman called me lastnight and we had a nice conversation.
We talked very little about D but we talked about how she is processing and moving forward. Little did I know my W was listening to our conversation. This morning she was going come with me to take son to swim lessons.
She was getting ready and I asked how soon she'd be ready to go. She said I'm not going. I asked why and she said "I don't want to talk to you". I said ok see you later. She said I won't be home tonight. I said ok
I left and she sent me a text. It said "get this refy done asap, I won't be here when you are here. It's pathetic you sneak around to talk to this chick"
ummmm isn't that what she's been doing the past few months?????
I haven't responded to text
#1 Be careful with your D friend. Both of you are very vulnerable in many ways.
#2 Interesting, your W's reaction. Don't try to talk her out of it. Just let it set there. You have nothing to defend.
#3 Don't respond to her text. Let that set, too.
Your W is in so many different directions - it gives me hope for y'all, actually. One day she's "whatever it takes," then "I didn't know we were reconciling so I called OM," to mad b/c you are "sneaking around with this chick." Whew! One can get whiplash watching her gyrations. She clearly doesn't know what she wants. That's 100% better for you than if she were completely dug in and committed to leaving. No matter what she may say, if you just look at her track record this month alone, one can see that she is confused.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Hang in there FFH, I think my sitch is starting to catch-up with yours. I like being able to get a sneak preview of what is coming up for me and I learn from all the posts on your thread.
Like you, I feel I am getting stronger about this sitch every day!
Maybe your right about D OW. I certainly didn't want to add any more drama to our sitch.... It felt nice for once to talk to someone who knows what I'm feeling. I'll stick to these forums for that from now on.
W didn't come home tonight. Not sure where she went???? She called once to check on son. I've got an entire day with friends tomorrow. I'm excited for that.
I'll continue to focus on the future
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
W got home this morning, didn't say much. I got my things ready and walked out for a day of boating with friends. I'm planning in staying out as late as I can . I have to work early tomorrow so not too late.
I should be getting paperwork soon to get refy done. I think the W is looking at a place today to rent.
Looks like things are progressing....
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I had a good day yesterday with friends boating/fireworks. I found myself really missing my W and son during the entire outing. There were tons of families enjoying the day and all I could do is think about them.
I got home late and W was in bed. I'm not sure what is happening tonight for the holiday. I had to work today but will be home this afternoon. I'm not sure if I should even ask if we are going to try and do something together for our son or if she has plans already.
I hate missing her....
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
W just called me. She is very angry and nasty now. She keeps asking about re-fy, she wants to split up items in house over the phone "not in person".
She has looked at a rental and is ready to leave. I asked what has changed that made her so angry all of a sudden. She brought up OW that I spoke with a couple of times. She started calling me names, a bad husband, bad father. I told her that name calling isn't needed.
She has several thoughts going through her head about me and OW which I completely understand because there thoughts I have of her EA "OM".....
She is mostly upset that I took call from OW in the house and she was able to hear our conversation. It was a mistake on my part, but in my defense I was in my room.
I asked her how she was able to have this external R during our marriage and it was ok??? She said it's not the same, "I don't talk with him while your around"... HA!!!!
I'm not even sure where to go from here. I just want things to be amicable for our sons sake. Not sure how to fix this???
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Best at this point to do the "smile and wave" that SmileysPerson used to post here about, and let attorneys deal with the legalities of splitting of personal property. If you want to reach an AMICABLE proposal for the splitting of the property, before presenting it to attys, then do so via e-mail and without bringing the R into it (but I don't recommend this).
Yes, you made a big tactical mistake by taking that call, but there's absolutely no moral equivalency of that and your wife's ongoing emotional affair (if that's all it was). Do NOT accept her premise.
