When I'm able to do that, that will free me...when I have no expectations whatsoever and won't let anything he does hurt me.
Yes that is the next step Mila.
Also BOUNDARIES.
IMO it looks like you might need them to protect YOU from his selfish behavior.
Originally Posted By: Dudess
The “letting go” Gucci talks about isn’t about your emotional reactions to him and your desire to reconcile. It is about showing him with your ACTIONS that you are moving on. Gucci emphasizes that you can feel like holding on for dear life and and still let go with your behavior. You do that by affirming that it his choice (however stupid) to be with someone else. The ‘letting go’ is showing him that he can have anybody he wants, but he can’t have you too and you are not waiting to be his back-up plan.
IMO this is no different than what you have been told here and what we all try to live.
This is a PROCESS. When you ACT as if (you are moving on) that is a tool in the process of detaching.
The REAL change that has to happen, which is when you do finally LET GO, is the goal. It is when it is no longer a tool or tactic but is your own truth.
That is LOVING DETACHMENT.
If you do step 1 (acting as if letting go)
AND NOT step 2 (letting go with love)
You will carry the resentment forward.
Mila only you can decide when it is time to make it to step two. IMO only the LBS can make that choice and most importantly
WHEN.
It is through living this that we learn and grow.
We are here to support (help lift you up when you have these bad days)
And GUIDE (help you to see when you may need to take a step forward)
Nudge you, if you will, down the path.
Dudess I do belive we are preaching the same sermon but from different hymnals.
In the end, the LBS has to come to their own decisions and on their own time through experience.
That is what I believe and have learned through my own experience.
Until the LBS comes to their truth, all the ACTING in the world will be for naught.
And all they really have accomplished is a performance maybe worthy of an Oscar.
That is just my opinion...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
