Setting them free

[gardengirl72]

I have a question...is it ok to talk to friends (both of ours) and let them know my side of what has happened? I know I should have done this a LONG time ago, but I didn't.....I wasn't ready. Now that I am feeling stronger and want to let go, is it ok or do I let go of that too?

H is having an ea/pa...H left to live at our house up north in Feb..."not because of her or you...I love you, but I am not in love with you (I HATE that phrase!)....I just want to be alone...I wont divorce you."

Family (both sides) knows the story, but, I am finding out H is telling people I am CHOOSING to stay where I am at because my family is here. Which is BS...WE had always planned to retire there (north) together! We have had the house 20+yrs.

I am trying to drop the rope and set him free...I have not called him for a couple of weeks...I took my rings off last week. I have come to realize I don't want to live this way any longer.

The bad thing is, I have not set any boundaries. He has come back here a few times and I have gone there a few times since Feb. We sleep in separate bedrooms. We hug, kiss, but that is it. We do things together. In his mind this is GREAT...we are friends!!
I know, cake-eating!

My MIL/FIL were just up north (they are both from there) MIL called me today and said H is crazy!! I said, 'I know!' She said, 'No I MEAN HE'S CRAZY!!' She was going to tell him I had taken my rings off...I had told them (she thought maybe he would see I'm not waiting any longer)...they are VERY supportive. MIL said he is so detached and does NOT think he has done anything wrong! In the end, she DID NOT tell him I had taken my rings off, she feels I should talk to him that maybe it would have more of an impact.....but did say to me, 'I really think it is time to go on with your life.' She did tell him, 'in no way, shape or form will OW EVER be allowed in my house!!!' His response, 'I know. This isn't about her!'

I guess I have two questions now. Being he still thinks we are 'friends' because I have not set boundaries, do we get together to talk so I can tell him this is not how I want to live?.....I will not be his friend while he is still talking to OW! If I do tell him...how do I say it?

One more, how long do you go without sex before one is considered a virgin again???

Thanks for your help....love this tread!!....gg