Will keep up w/OM's W and see what else we can find out. She is quite a sleuth, so we may get something here.
I'm not really rescuing my W by protecting her reputation. Everyone knows what is going on. She was feeling like I was only telling my side of the story to people, but I have told them about my issues and her complaints about me also. I just didn't want her to think that I was blaming only her for our sitch. I am partly responsible too, but she is the one who refuses to wok on the R.
Talked to my L today and told her about all the dumb things I did. She was ok, but said STOP IT!
I asked her if we could request that W move out of the house at the temporary hearing so that this could replicate what the real D would look like before it is final. she said we could, but it may not be likely to happen. I have to go back next week because we didn't get done today. This will surprise W and likely make her very angry. Her initial petition to the court said we would live together until the D is final, but I think a separation may be the only way to bring her back. If not, we are that much closer to the end then anyway. Win/win. I used to think I would like to delay this as long as possible to extend my hope, but that is no way to live.
I also proposed that we argue that someone with 20 years experience should not have an entry level job and her "earnings potential", which is what child support and alimony are based on, should be based on a salary for a more advanced position. W refused to take any promotions in 20yrs because she did want to have to deal with the politics or problem that come with supervising people. While we were married, I supported her in that decision, but now that we will be D, I don't believe I should have to support that position any longer. She should get a better, higher paying job. W will likely be pissed about this too.
Pay attention here. My atty used a child support calculator based on share placement of the kids (50%/50%) and told me I would be paying $1,050 per month to W in child support. I found a calculator online and calculated $954. $100 less per month. I gave her my calculation and she is looking into why we have different numbers. Don't just go with blind faith. research whatever you can.
Also spoke to my mortgage person today to get things started on figuring out what to do with the house. She said if I was going to buy out W, there hasn't been a better time, with housing prices so low. I just hope I can swing that somehow. I talked to her for quite a while and she thinks W is nuts too. Everybody I talk to does, but maybe that is only because they are hearing my side of the story. It just all seems so unbelievable to me still.
