The saga continues

[TimeHeals]

There is no easy way to do this. You have to completely let go. Period.

The problem is that you are acting out of hurt like a child who doesn't get what they want one moment, and then like an austere parent reprimanding a child other times.

That's the dynamic that you cannot beat in your interactions with your W.

You are going to have to let go of all of your fear. If she leaves, fine. Help her pack. If she doesn't leave, I guess that's OK too so long are she (and you) are not openenly insulting. No R-talk, and if there is R talk like her saying "this isn't working", then just agree with her.

You have not done this, and I don't expect you to be able to do it this time either. To really detach you have to shift all of your focus away from her and your marriage and focus on yourself and controling yourself and just being happy.

This misery is wearing on everybody trying to help you, and you just rationalizing it here is what you do at home as well aparently.

You can't control your W. She can't control you. Your attempts to control one another for whatever reasons are working against you.