dudess. i really want to see his parents. they live in texas and i never get to see them. it also seems like a good opportunity to spend a positive experience together as a family. I think it's huge that he did this because he originally said it would be 'ackward'. i really would like to go. do you really think it is absolutely imparitive that i say no now? i would like to go, and go camping and then i feel that i can start setting guidlines and stuff. i will consider your advise though and i really appreciate it, guys. Its just not easy to completely blow him off when for the first time he seems GENUINE in the slightest bit... does that makes sense at all?
Yes it makes "sense". But the way he has been acting hasn't been making "sense" so none of that stuff applies. Had he even apologized for not getting back to you the other night?
I would follow up with what Dudess suggested. But it's ultimately up to you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
ok the personal were ones he responded to and he deleted his account on yahoo that he was using. we have not dismissed teh divorce, but we just decided ot start working on things this week, really....
no, mr bond. he didnt appologize, but he did ask me to go out to dinner and amovie with his family. i think that seems a little more important, but that might just be my perception
The thing you're not getting is that he's only doing what is important to him. Why has he only asked you to go out with his family and not just with him? He could be using you for appearances. I don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but it seems like he's been using you and not seeing to your needs.
Look at the successful stories on here. They all have one thing in common - remorse. Remorse from the WAS and their actions of doing whatever it takes to fix the problems they caused to the LBS.
Well again it is your choice. Don't be surprised if after the movie with his parents, he tells you a lame excuse and cancels the camping trip.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
we have not dismissed teh divorce, but we just decided ot start working on things this week, really....
I am concerned that, (as you and your friends predicted,) he is just buttering you up in order to get out of the divorce as cheap as possible.
Seems to me that if he is committed to dealing with the issues in the marriage - and that includes HIS huge issues - he would, at a minimum, be changing the divorce action to one for legal separation.
i dont think that he would be unwilling to change the status, i just dont see pressuring him right away... do you guys think that now is the time? when he just opened up to seeing me and making things work? The camping trip was us being alone. I dont think he wanted to keep appearances because he asked me to go, with his parents knowing we are divorcing. they know everything. It was a way to invite me to see his family. I'm not trying to seem polyanna-ish. I know I must sound that way. I just hate the idea of putting demands, ultimatums and all of that without even letting us have a good time toegther first. I love this person. I want to get back with him. Thats what I want. I want to do whatever I have to to make that happen. Can you guys help me to achieve that? I left right after the movie. I didnt ask to come in. We all had dinner and it was nice. then we all watched a movie. His parents werent sitting anywhere near us and he held my hand tenderly all through the movie. didn't even let go when i did. he is so wounded and f-ed up and confused, and I know how pathetic i sound. I love him, though. I want to be with my husband again.
nevermind. you were all right. i just went into his email and saw that TODAY he applied for a job in another city, and said he was looking to relocate.
