(((IDU))) it sounds like you're being really hard on yourself. I believe that you've done the best that you can. You had great advice, but let's face it...following DB advice when you're shattered is very hard and for some, impossible. You moved forward as soon as you were ready to. There is no magic wand to dismiss fear...it's a process and one that you are grappling with. I'm there with you.
I'll try to write more in my thread about exactly what I'm doing to deal with my horror at what this is doing to the children. IMO, it's a very important element to the letting go process for parents like us.
I guess maybe I am. I should have listened a lot sooner. I have enabled her for way too long. Is it past the point of no return? IDK. I do know the chances would have been better if I had done the right things earlier.
I'm not giving up, just letting go. I don't know what she will do and it doesn't matter. Other people have made their M work after being much farther into things than my sitch is at the moment. I have to have hope. But I have that nagging feeling, you know? It doesn't fill me with despair like before, but it is still there. I have been wrong about so many things and I know I can't mind read. I guess I am trying to ready myself for the actual steps that will be taken to end this marriage. Sitting still and waiting haven't worked. Whoa, big shock there!
We are almost broke. It is my fault as much as hers. I should have been keeping an eye on the money after I suspected the affair. And especially after the ILYBINILWY speech. I didn't want to face the facts. My fault. I will have to get a loan for the L and my parents have offered to help, also. Crap, I'm 43. I can't let my parents get involved in this like I was a kid. I don't know where she thinks she will go or do, either. Maybe she hasn't thought about it. Maybe when faced with that reality, she will start thinking about things. We'll see.
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I'll try to write more in my thread about exactly what I'm doing to deal with my horror at what this is doing to the children. IMO, it's a very important element to the letting go process for parents like us.
Please do. I will follow along as usual. You really sound good, FM. I hope to follow in your footsteps soon. You give me and others so much hope, you really do.
