It's odd. The former spouse and I met on St. Patrick's day, one and three days after our birthdays, respectively. We were married a year and a few weeks later on April 10. So B'days, anniversaries of meeting and getting married were all muddled together.
As far as I can see, the longer I picked the wound, the more it kept hurting. Letting go of the crap, anger, fear, sense of helplessness.. setting boundaries all help. Even now I get tired when dealing with the ex spouse but it's easing.
Embracing that my whole life no longer centers around the divorce helps. Some things will never have an answer. But I can set my boundaries. The less I act like a victim, the less I am. The more strength I gain.
At some point the divorce gets boring. Same old, same old. Folks behaviors don't change. They're consistent. I can only control me. I ask myself, what works best for me and the kids. What keeps me healthy?
The more I let go of him (the memories, the flashbacks, the what if's, the growls) it's so much easier to feel good.
Let go of the hook, don't take the bait, and walk strong.
It is what it is.. only you can decide where to take it and how much baggage to carry.
