Spouse Suffering From Depression

[awest1217]

I know there is about a 3 hour time difference so hopefully you read this before you do the ultimatum. I am not going to deter you, but make sure you are truly sure you want to do this. I completely understand that you have been through this for a long time...going on almost 2 years, plus the years of him being neglectful, but are you doing this out of anger or because you are really ready to follow through?

That is my only question for you. Make sure you are doing this because you want to do this for you and are ready to follow through. If you are not ready, don't do it. You can talk about OW3 if you want, but don't give an ultimatum unless you are ready to follow through because otherwise it will mean nothing.

Based on his comments, I feel like you have said that he is enjoying his new bachelor life and like your mom said it is going to take a long, long time for him to heal. It was believed until recently that nerve cells don't regenerate, but now it is believed that they can (hense your H and the surgery), but they can only regenerate and heal if the person is living a healthy life style. Even just his hours may hinder the healing process (learned this from my class last year on the brain and development); the drinking may completely stop it. He will sleep better, but for there to be true healing, it will take time and him to stop drinking.

I just want to make sure you don't regret anything. If you are ready to have this conversation, make sure you are calm and business like. Try not to accuse. Stay factual.

It is going to be hard, but you are a very strong woman. Just be sure you are ready for this completely. I will pray all goes well.