Working on letting go has been a good choice for me because
  • 1. it aligns with my personal beliefs (people are not possessions)
  • 2. it puts the focus on me and what I can control

I have a long way to go, but I'm proud of the progress that I've made in six months. Here are the things that have helped me the most:
  • forcing myself to listen to the advice from the wise posters on this forum (including the "unsuccessful" blush vets whose marriages were not going to survive)
  • the teachings of Byron Katie, especially the book I Need Your Love: Is that true? (book summary)
  • taking antidepressants...I was doing a lot of personal work, but it wasn't until I started ADs that things turned around: I started being able to feel good, and I gained the ability to redirect negative thought patterns
  • reading and getting professional help with accepting how D will affect my children...which is the most difficult step in my letting-go process
  • support from real friends who don't pull any punches

Tomorrow is the six month mark of my separation. I'm ready to let go further and welcome input on that.

Last edited by flowmom; 07/02/10 07:05 PM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.