Stop using each and everything (yes, including your kids) as an excuse to hold on to something that wasn't yours to begin with.
People are not possessions, you don't own your spouse...
I wasn't saying kids are an excuse to hold onto your spouse, I was saying that marriages and kids are linked together, and yes, I do believe there is an aspect of possession in regard to kids, possession that slowly fades as they grow up. The younger the kids are, the more horrible it is to let them go, far beyond that of letting go of your spouse, because as you said, you don't own your spouse.
