As I read through the last few pages, I see a common theme...
Some of you are missing the point of this thread...
This has nothing to do with being mean, ugly or disrespectful...
This isn't a game, this is your life...The only one He gives you...
Is this truly how you want to spend the rest of your life? Reading into each and every word spoken by your spouse? Trying to figure out each action they project? Being hurt over and over again when it turns out you didn't read the "signals" correctly...
There is no timeline here to follow...
I tried in the beginning, I read over hundreds of threads trying to stuff my H in a "box"...
MLC or PTSD or whatever other acronym I happened to come across...
The bottom line is DB is for you...
If you happen to save your marriage in the process great...
If not, you will be just fine, maybe even better than fine...
The point is you will survive.
The spouse you have painted into the MLC corner is self-centered, selfish, rebellious...
Instead of taking the time to evaluate where they are in their lives and where they want to be, they instead wallow.
They wallow in the past because it was more fun, a time filled with less responsibility, possibly no children , an easier job etc...
Right here at this point on the path is where their true character will shine through -
They will either sit down to adjust their old plan, possibly make a new one or they will blow up their lives with the greatest of fanfare...
My husband chose to blow his up...Now 16 months later, I am a better person for it...
I know I deserve better, I know I will be much, much happier, I know that He wants more for my life than I could have ever imagined and I also know that in my heart, I was correct all along...
Cheating on me was the final dealbreaker, I tried to overlook it just to keep my marriage in tact however it isn't possible.
You don't get to decimate everything we built together for a roll in the hay and think that it is ok...
It is never ok, once you can get to this place, than you will be able to detach...
Not in bitterness, not in hate, not in anger...
In love and with peace.
Stop using each and everything (yes, including your kids) as an excuse to hold on to something that wasn't yours to begin with.
People are not possessions, you don't own your spouse...
You are only in control of you.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
