I didn't say it wasn't the best thing to do, I just said it was much harder, especially to do it with conviction. It's one thing to "kick your wayward spouse to the curb", but when half your kids' lives go with them, that's a special kind of h*ll. I didn't, and still don't, believe it was an "excuse" to be weak, but rather a manifestation of the ripping at bonds beyond those of our M.
Even now, while we're working at reconciliation, I know I should probably be more scarce, but I have a virtually open invitation to be with my kids more. An enormous pull is causing me to gravitate toward them, and therefore my W gets more of me. Being separated from my kids always felt totally WRONG and unnatural. Knowing they are a few miles from me, yet I am not allowed to see them, or be with them, felt WRONG, in every way. Now that my W has removed that barrier, I have no real desire to keep it in place voluntarily.
