Dobson's speech is preceded by an entire change in demeanor and attitude. You aren't mean or rude. Just in your own little world. No pursuing or reaching out anymore. Short answers to questions and then on to something else..
Best done when you wait for an opening that the WS gives you after you have applied the new demeanor and attitude for a week or two. Be in your own little world as if there is something on your mind and you are oblivious to the WS... Thinking. Thinking.. "What is wrong with you, are you mad at me" (or something to that effect)
Then when they give you the opening for what is up with you lately....
THEN... you drop the new bomb on them..
"nothing wrong with me, but I HAVE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING.. and here is what I have decided. I don't know why I didn't see this before, but I have realized that this just isn't going to work this way. I now realize that I don't want to be with someone that really doesn't want to be with me. I don't want to be with someone who is having an affair. It just isn't what I want in life. So, I have decided that we should separate and work toward divorce. I think you should fiind another place to live as soon as possible. Within two weeks would be good. We need to decide what we are going to do with the finances, the house and the children too. I will get my attorney to draw something up for us. I am sorry it didn't work out between us but I have now realized that maybe this is for the best. Anyway, I have to go to my friends and I am running late. That is all I had to say. Talk to you later."
Don't draw it out and read them a book.. Short, direct, decisive and matter of factly.
And that is the moment you have released them. You then follow through on exactly what you have told them. Keep all your cards close to your chest. Mysterious. Not mean. Not punitive. Not angry exept for callng the affair what it is.. AN affair.
Note: The speech can also be effective written in a letter.
