To my mind threats to leave when you are miserable are just childish and passive aggressive... I take it as a statement of his mood more than any plan he has in the works...
When people are feeling miserable an hopless they want to express that... He will say the marriage is over, its failed, he's done, he's gonig to leave etc...
You just have to remember what he's TELLING you when he does these things... and ignore the words he's using to express it
Yeah - it's just sad that he feels miserable and hopeless when he has such a great family. I guess I'm just not feeling very sure of how to respond to it right now. Well, except to not respond unless I have to. I know nothing I say can change his mind anyway and he has to work through this stuff himself.
I told MC about the cellphone and once again, he had it with him this morning in the bathroom. She says that he is protecting it like a dog protecting its bone. She agrees that it may be something more/different than just hiding something - because he could easily just delete texts/emails/phone history. (I have no way of comparing totals since his bills don't come to house.) It's more like he is protecting his right to privacy - the right to his independence - his own life. She agrees that full disclosure of such things is necessary - when he is ready to commit to the marriage.
SO - right now, until I have proof of anything - not much to be done about that. Oh - and the voice recorder in the car has proven unnecessary right now. The DD or I have to take him/pick him up from the park n ride to/from work since she and I both need cars during the day for the most part.
