Nothing fits

[mishka422]

I know, it is too bad really but we can hope that they figure out that is totally unreal. Fingers crossed.

The movie was really good. The acting improved from the first two and the CGI was well done. There was a large group of teenage (about 13-14 years old) girls sitting at the lower level of the theater. One of the girl's mothers was taking pictures of all of them before the movie. CRAZY PEOPLE! They were pretty quiet until Jacob finally made an appearance on the screen about 15 minutes into the movie. They all started screaming then. When he first showed up with no shirt I think they all swooned! Gabe has never seen the first two movies and doesn't know the story at all. I commented that apparently the girls were Team Jacob and he wanted to know what the heck that meant. It's hard to explain this stuff to someone during a movie. It was fun though.

He sat and held my hand through the whole movie and all the way home. It was really nice and I'm just going to enjoy it as is for now.

[BobbiJo]

Hope it was good. I have never read any of the books nor seen any of the movies. But I don't find that Patterson guy attractive at all. Maybe it's all the white powder to make him pale....Taylor Lautner is way more attractive to me but then again I don't think I would want to get physical with a wolf-man...

I would have gone with you though just to eat the popcorn. Love movie popcorn!

[MichelleLT]

Lol. Sounds like you had fun.

Hand holding is so awesome. There's something about the tactile contact that speaks volumes.

[BobbiJo]

We cross-posted Mish. I guess I would be Team Jacob then...

I love holding hands. I miss that physical touch! The one 'date' I had with golf guy, where we went to a birthday party together, if he walked away for something when he came back to stand by me he would squeeze my shoulder, rub my arm, touch my back, etc. I don't want to go out with him again but I must admit it felt nice just to be touched!

I am glad you are enjoying things as they are instead of worrying about what comes next. Just appreciate what you have for now...

[mishka422]

Our city has a big parade and fireworks over the lake on the 4th every year. Marc is excited to be in the parade again this year with the Civil Air Patrol. He's so very proud of being involved in the origanization. Cutie pie! I don't think he has realized yet that at parade time on Saturday morning (it's on the 3rd since the 4th is on Sunday this year) it will be about 84 degrees but with nearly 70% humidity. I don't know what that is going to make the heat index but in his long sleeved BDU's with the combat boots it's going to be HOT HOT HOT!

[JCJ]

So great for Marc!

I'm team Edward for sure, I like the strong, brooding type even though I would prefer to like Jacob. I guess you can't help who you like

Also sounds great with Gabe, he wants to spend time with you. Just soak it up Mish and enjoy

[mishka422]

Trying to soak it up but last night that came to a screeching halt and now I'm floundering BIG TIME.

I had stopped at the station to pick up a pizza he had brought with him from the other job and he was just fine. Joking with me and telling me about the glasses he got yesterday morning. I took Marc to his CAP meeting and called Gabe to tell him that Marc had the date wrong for his promotion ceremony and it wasn't last night. When he answered he sounded down and distracted but I thought he was probably busy. No biggie but it caused a strange uneasiness. He picked Marc up from his meeting (right accross the street from the station) and brought him home. Marc had been inside a few minutes when I realized Gabe hadn't come in yet. I asked Marc if he knew where he was and he just said that he was outside. He finally came in and I took some things to the kitchen and greeted him. He looked very upset (like he had cried) and so, out of reflex, I asked him if he was ok. He said, "No. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff." SCREECH. The last time he acted like this and those words came out of his mouth he had one foot out the door. I asked him if he wanted a piece of apple pie and he just shook his head, walked out the back door, got on the golf cart and left. Not one word about where he was going, what he was doing, who he was going to see. Nothing. My alarm bells started clanging so loud! I sat back down and finished watching the show mom and I had been watching but I was so distracted I can't begin to tell you what it was about. I told her that I was going to take a shower and go to bed and escaped into my bedroom. I had been in the shower about 2 minutes when Gabe popped the door open and said he was back.

When I was dressed, I came out of the bathroom and he was on the phone with his BMF. The convo became lots of 'yeah', 'mm hmm', 'no'....no convo on his side since I was there and then he left the bedroom to continue the convo. More alarms, more panicky feelings. When he came back he had a beer in his hand (he RARELY drinks unless he's upset) and was acting like there was nothing to talk about. I couldn't just let it gloss over. When he acts like this it's something drastic and he's about to do something drastic. I asked if he was going to tell me what had him so upset. He said, "No. I'm handling it. I don't need any help." GGGGRRRR!!!! I told him I wasn't offering to help, only to listen. Nope. I turned the light out and flopped on the bed. I was so upset I was shaking and I guess he could feel it on the other side of the bed because he rolled toward me and asked what was up. I told him that if he couldn't tell me what had him so upset then I assume it is me that is the problem. He said it's not me and hugged me and then laid there holding my hand.

It may not be me directly, but it's absolutely something to do with some emotional issue which I will bet you has to do with some woman. If not the broom, then another one. I'm not stupid. He is giving all the same signs he gave right before he walked out on us.

So....I'm being proactive. I'm not being open to him. I won't be vulnerable again. The walls are up, I'm shutting down, and he can go ahead and leave. I can't allow myself to be destroyed again so getting the barricades up quickly is essential to my mental health.

I knew this day was coming. It seems that no matter how hard I try it's not good enough to keep him interested. I'm not enough for him.

[Kalni]

Hey!!! Hold your horses! In general I trust the gut feeling that signals red alert but dear, you went off the edge... (forgive my English).

Soothe yourself, stop your thoughts to what has happened/facts and dont go playing out in your head what MAY happen down the road IF it happens...

Calm down.
Hugs

[mishka422]

I didn't trust my gut before and look what happened. I thought I was just being silly and jealous. Now I know better. My first priority is protecting myself and Marc from the fallout of more pain inflicted on us.

K, I just might go off the edge if I don't shut this down right now. I'm not saying I'm kicking him out before he can leave but I'm also not going to be vulnerable to him anymore. It's going to be a roommate situation. I'm just too scared and emotionally fragile to stand up to this.

[mishka422]

That last post sounded like I'm throwing in the towel. I'm not, but I'm just backing up and protecting myself for now. He's got something going on and I'm not going to put myself in the middle of it.