He may come to you today with a bunch of empty promises, or half-baked attempts at an apology. This is what I'd lke you to say to him:
"I'm afraid it's no longer that easy. I have a lot of thinking to do."
If he asks you what YOU'RE thinking, who you've told, who you're GOING to tell, have you talked an atty., etc. (and he WILL, certainly, hound you about some of these things in the next 24-72 hours), tell him "I'm not sure what I think yet. We'll talk more in a few days, I'm sure. I have some things I need to get taken care of first."
If he PUSHES you for which way the wind is blowing, WALK AWAY (or end the convo if it's by phone). If need be, say "Frankly I don't think you're in any position to be pestering me for my thinking, do you?"
DON'T MOPE. Be confident, strong, but not pollyanna. If he asks you how you're coping, say "Remarkably, I'm OK considering what you've done. I'll be fine; I just have some thinking to do."
Finally, if he asks you "What will it take?" or "What do I need to do?", even though you may have your "list" done, don't give it to him yet. Say "I don't know what I want to do yet -- we'll talk more in a few days" (see above). If you want to, you can tell him "This is your mess; I'm not going to tell you how to clean it up" -- this can be good because SOMETIMES it can motivate the cheating spouse to go above-and-beyond to SHOW you their remorse, and -- if he does -- that's much better than you having to give him your list (you can always fill in anything he misses).
Make sense? DO NOT ENGAGE WITH HIM IN "R" TALKS THIS WEEKEND -- come here first!!!
