My DH and I have been separated for 8 months due to his MLC. Things had been going fine and we were enjoying the time we have been spending together as of late. His travel for work has been very intense over the last month and on Tuesday when he texted me his latest travel assignment that filled up almost ALL of July, I lost it. We talked that evening, and I said that unless he moved home, I was done. He didn't believe that moving home would make a difference. I gave the ring back, packed a ton of stuff, and came with my daughter (14mo) to live with my parents who live 3 hours away. According to his mother, he is shocked and very upset.
Now that two days have passed and I've had a ton of time to think, I regret my actions. I realize that I lost the focus on myself during his MLC and became obsessed with his actions again causing me to lash out when his time was taken away from me. I had a call with a DB coach who told me to work on 'Acting Attractive' this week, but I'm worried there will be little communication.
I emailed him to apologize for things being so intense and explained that I don't see this as a closed door, I just need time here to rest, reset and figure out what is next for me. But even now, I so much want to take back all of my words, apologize and explain myself more and move back home. Is that too much relationship talk? I am so confused and don't know what my next step should be.
Thank you, since my original post, we continue to live separately, have been intimate together a few times, and at the beginning of May, our counselor told us it was over and we either divorce now or when our daughter turns 18. At that time, I felt that we still hadn't done everything we could and we decided to spend more time together. It was going really great and I was pretty happy...up until Tuesday. I'm very confused now.
Obviously, I am desperate for tips on what to do next. I just finished Divorce Remedy and I am thinking that I just need to make decisions for myself and stay confident and upbeat in my reactions to him but stop it there. Does that make sense or will he think I'm a big waffler if I move back to Cincinnati eventually?
I know that I'm being super needy asking for advice over and over again, but I am a wreck today and I keep picking up my phone wanting to call him, I've even contemplated driving back home to say I take it all back and I want us to go back to how happy we were on Sunday spending the day together with our daughter.
Ugh, I regret my actions SO much! He leaves for a 5 day work trip to Europe tomorrow and I just want to be in touch with him before then.
Now, I think I'm just writing to get my thoughts out of my head! What I really want to do is live my life for me, I loved my life back home outside of the horrible marriage situation. I want to move back, get a job, and just rock out my life.
But after my blowup on Tuesday, do the H and I still spend time together trying to work on things? We would spend about two nights a week hanging out after D was in bed. Just watching movies, whatever would be normal in a 'normal' marriage. And he was always around all day on the weekends and we really enjoyed that time together. I would just get sad when he would retreat to his apt at the end of the day. He wants to see my D all the time and I would never try to keep her from him.
