Yes, the cruel and inhumane treatment must happen during the marriage. When you file (be it separation or divorce) whoever files will have to complete a statement outlining the claims (as in what was cruel and inhumane). If you don't contest it, it will be much easier.
Cruel and inhumane treatment is sort of the catch all in NY to get the ball rolling. Your W has grounds if she wants to use them and so do you. Cruel and inhumane and just don't contest. You can also contest the grounds but not the action (divorce or separation).
Your W is all talk (and clearly has no idea what she is talking about). She can file for a separation under C&I treatment tomorrow if she wants to. Her statement would probably include the verbal abuse. It's all pretty standard and your marriage is so new assets won't be an issue other than the house.
Dude, you seem to get really pissy when I ask you a question. I am not an attny but I have been jerked around by this system for 2+ years and have a pretty high powered firm working for me. So what you hear on the radio is just talk. I have binder after binder of info so if you need info just ask and I will be happy to share. My case was a total mess for lots of reasons that would not be part of your case (yet - affair, illness, considerable assets) so it is VERY important to get cold hard facts.
An EA is considered cruel and inhumane and if necessary you do have documentation as well as involvement from her supervisor at work. She wants to play games with grounds then play right back. Your W is all bark and no bite.
