YOu have to trust that he won't blame you... He knows he's made a mistake, but he has to work up the courage to own it yet... that takes a long while...
YOu can tell him where you are going with DD if you are going anywehre sure.. but if you aren't gonig out then you don't need to contact him... and always use email... no phone calls or texting
Your H is going to do what he pleases with your DD whether you have an agreement with him or not... There are dozens of people on these forums who tried to have an "agreement" with their dishonest and cheating spouse and big surprise, their cheating spouse didnd't own up thier end of the deal... THey LIE... they will NOT and cannot be relied on to be honest.. you need to realise that.. you think eh's going to be sincere and relaible right now? Seriously?
You are trying to cooperate iwth someone who does NOT have yours or your daugther's best interests at heart here... There are many people on here who wanted to think the best of their spouse even after they find out they have been betrayed and trust them further anyways... and get burned.
My fear right now is that he's going to take his DD to meet OW and try to get DD to get chummy with her... WS men WILL DO and HAVE done that ont his forum...
THe idea here is just to keep your H guessing, on the defensvie... for months he's felt like he had 100% control of the situation while he left you in the dark... When you switch those tables on him it gets him on teh run and the stress and presure start to break up the excitement of the affair...
If your H isnt in a place where he can take DD overnight then you are primary caregiver... He just has to suck that up...
Yes go out, and leave DD with in laws or something... Do make sure your H knows you are going out, but does NOT know what you're doing... again this leaves him feeling curious and knocks him off balance...
All of this work is to put pressure on him so he returns to the safety and stability of the marriage again... You have to do what you can to make sure his lifestyle outside of the marriage is SO STRESSFUL it's not worth it anymroe... If him being away from the marriage means you are out at all hours god knows where that he cant' see his daughter wheenver he pleases, and that his workplace is considering demoting him or worse... he WILL start to break and that affair will NOT sustain him... OW won't be able to help him with all of that... His fantasy world will start to fall apart and NOT have the appeal it once did...
This takes time, but if you keep hitting it his world will fall apart... You have to trust that he wont blame you for the mess he knows he's making of his life...
