Boundaries in Marriage

[Deep]

I'm not really qualified to give any advice nor do I mean to be judgemental. Honestly however, reading this made me think this:

If someone was stabbing me with a knife, I wouldn't be writing him/her an email sharing honestly how the bodily intrusion of a sharp foreign object into important parts of my physical body is likely to cause me serious harm.

Sorry. Based on your words I sense a deep rooted fear, and vacillation. Weakness on this scale is seldom rewarded wit hrespect. Just an honest opinion.