FWIW, my take on MLC is that it is a mental health issue. WASs need to go back and deal with unfinished business from childhood. Depressed people don't respond to pressure or jealousy (e.g. LBS dating). They are struggling to get by day-to-day and trying to "feel good". The OW is just a "drug"......literally......a mood elevator, in the same way that a depressed person often self-medicates with alcohol or illegal drugs. Infatuation activates the addiction centers in the brain....dopamine if I recall correctly. There is a lot of medical literature supporting this. If anyone is interested I can cite some references.
Jody (DB coach) always told me to be H/XH's safe place to keep the lines of communication open.
