I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

Ok he did talk to me on the phone, much calmed down, but still said he did not understand why I would expose to anyone. I said the two lines above, "Everything I've done, I've done to fight..." and "I'm not willing to lie to cover up your affair." He still turned it on me saying that yes he'd done something truly awful to me, but he had owned it, but now I was trying to smear him and the OW, and that was just as bad. I said that was ludicrous, that he smeared himself with his own behavior. At some point he did say "I have not contacted any of YOUR family or friends to try to get them to choose sides" and I said "I didn't try to get anyone to choose a side, it's just that people don't side with those who commit infidelity." I also said "go right ahead and contact them, I have nothing to hide."

So we pretty much left it at that. I am not contacting him any more. I'm sure he'll stew for a few days.

As far as who I've told, he knows who our mutual friends are and my own friends, so he is assuming I've told them. What he's also assuming (incorrectly) is that I've told some of his coworkers or FOUND people who could tell them for me, and that truly has not happened. Someone HE told has spread the rumors, not me, but it's of course easier to blame me than blame a friend of his whom he thinks is trustworthy. We live in a small county, everyone knows everyone, and it's entirely possible that someone at the lawyer's or the different banks or other public places I've been to has overheard something. Or that one of his coworkers spread it.