Still chipping away at EA

[elvencat]

If you want my advice

1. Tell him he is NOT welcome in the new house for at LEAST three months
2. He has o go to FT for thsoe three months - your FT will decide if it should be you two together or just private sessions, but that's it... He doens't see you for three months, he sees the FT
3. He agrees to FULL TRANSPARENCY of all info.. phone, computer, etc... He hides NOTHING and if you want to SEE anything he HAPPILY surrenders it because you are protecting the BOTH of you
4. A letter is written and signed by the BOTH of you to OW to GET LOST and NEVER attempt to contact your H again EVER
5. Phone numbers, email addresses, facebook accounts etc are all CLOSED and new ones are generated (I know there's a cost, but such is the price he has to pay)

For THREE MONTHS he goes to FT and lives with his mother still under protection phase until the FT agrees he's ready to make a commitment again

YOu don't decide when he's ready, but I say he should work with FT for AT LEAST three months and a NEW IC... for THREE MONTHS

This is the kind of thing I need to know. I haven't been physical with him in any way, but I am having contact with him regarding logistics with DD and finances. I am applying for aid till I can get a job, and am finishing up application for that tomorrow. H knows he has to sign over SSI payments for DD to me and that I am NOT stopping that process no matter what.

I know he is acting like he's caved in this quickly mostly for DD because of the arrangements I am making that he basically doesn't have much room to fight me over. I DO know he has told OW the same thing he told me through other sources about wanting space and not knowing what he wants... so regardless of OUR situation I know he threw a monkey wrench into things for HER so I'm a little worried about what will happen when she starts in on him.

During that in person meeting, I got him to agree that IC should have had no conversations with him regarding relationships. He finally figured out on his own (I wonder who looked it up for him) that there were only two licensed FTs in the area and he didn't know anything about either one and didn't want to go. I said as soon as I can pay, I'm going no matter what he does, but when I asked what his plan is for learning how to delve back into our relationship without a FT since he was so dead set on not going.....he didn't have an answer...

I agree with changing contact info. And I was thinking one month on the house, but three is definitely a good idea...

I'll be reading the link you posted.

I really can't wait to get out of town this weekend. Noone will be asking questions and I can just enjoy the weekend with DD without even thinking about this mess.

Wanted to add - I don't have any anyone I can use as a third party to block all contact. It's not that I don't trust them to do what they say, I don't trust them to not enable H in any way. I know contact will make this more difficult, but I truly feel I don't have anyone I can put into that position.